by Mary Louise Morris, Mindfulness coach

What do you think of when you hear the word Optimism?

Do you think of those endless inspirational quotes on social media or that friend who always looks on the bright side, no matter how dire the situation? Or do the naive dreamers and those who resolutely see a silver lining spring to mind? These might be the common conception of optimism, but it’s important to differentiate between blind optimism and healthy optimism.

Healthy optimism was defined more clearly by Martin Seligman, the grandfather of positive psychology, who spent 30 years studying it. This is amusing if you meet him (as I have), because he is a self-proclaimed pessimist. What his studies revealed though, is worth knowing. Firstly, like it or not, all the research shows that optimists have a better time in life. They are happier, have better health and relationships and are more able to cope with stress. If this sounds attractive but you consider yourself a pessimist, don’t worry, because studies have shown that optimism is, in fact, more of a learned trait than a genetic one, and it can be cultivated.

One of the keys to understanding the difference between an optimist and a pessimist is the way these two types explain situations to themselves, particularly adverse situations. Let’s take for example a failed relationship. The pessimist will see this as a permanent, pervasive and personal, whereas the optimist will see it as a temporary situation or set of events with specific causes and reasons.

Here is an example of the two explanatory styles:

P - I’ll never be able to have a relationship

O - There are plenty of other people that I could be with

P - I’m just not good at relationships

O - It didn’t work in this situation for specific reasons x y z

P - I’m a difficult person

O - Perhaps he/she wasn’t ready for a relationship

To learn the optimistic explanatory style, you need to look out for the following words in bold, which should ring an internal alarm bell:  

• I’m always the last to know

• They never ask my opinion

• Everybody else has been able to do it

One of the ways we can train ourselves to be optimistic is by recognizing and challenging our negative self-talk, among other things.

Here are some common thought traps:

Are you fortune-telling? E.g. I think it’ll be impossible for me to do that.

Are you mindreading? E.g. They think that I’ve got the magic solution to everything!

Are you labelling? E.g. I’m just so useless at this.

Are you filtering your thoughts, only taking note of the bad things that happen, ignoring the good? E.g. You only remember the one piece of negative feedback that you received and forget very quickly about the rest of the great feedback you were given. In short, what are you choosing to focus on?

Some good questions to ask yourself are:

What is the evidence for this thought? E.g. How do I know it’s impossible?

What would a kind friend say about this?

Is this a horror or a hassle? E.g. Is this really a big problem or just a hassle that actually isn’t that bad and I can work through it?

Is there are kinder more balanced way I can choose to look at this situation?

Optimism is an important trait for our young people today and one that employers will look for increasingly. Tim Brown CEO of IDEO, one of the top design firms in the world, talks about optimism as the Art of Possibility and thinks that it’s an essential trait for a designer to have. He says:

“Design thinking is an optimistic act -- you wouldn’t do it unless you believed you could come up with a better solution.”

In the current global pandemic, with the wound of racism resurfacing alongside climate change and the possible pending economic crisis, an optimistic mindset will support us in weathering this crisis on a day-to-day basis. It will also give us the energy to envision the huge changes required if we are going to re-imagine a different society.

Recently I watched a 7-minute video made by 29 year-old Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the youngest woman ever to serve in the United States Congress. She is defining the politics of the possible.

In the video she paints her vision of a USA of the future after her Green New Deal (a proposed package of United States legislation that aims to address climate change and economic inequality). It’s a vision of undiluted optimism. Perhaps that’s the reason for her unlikely rise from a bartender in the Bronx to a politician with 3.5 million twitter followers, and why she is the second most talked-about politician in America after the current president. Perhaps one day, she’ll become the first.

Mary Lou Morris is a Mindfulness teacher and mentor working with children, teens and adults. For the past 5 years she has been training 11-18 year olds in Mindfulness in schools, and working privately with children supporting them with a range of issues from exam stress, social anxiety, self confidence and digital distraction. She is an accredited teacher of the Mindfulness in Schools Programme, and former Head of Education for the children’s charity Childnet International. Website: www.goodtobe.co.uk

The House of Talents is home to a community of professional artists, writers, actors, musicians, performers and mental health coaches, who are offering affordable online creative courses for adults and children to learn at home. Classes include portrait painting, performing, public speaking, creative writing, self-publishing, meditation, mindfulness, nutrition and more. 10% of what we earn goes to charity.

Follow us on Instagram: @houseoftalentsuk

Facebook: /houseoftalents.uk/